So now when doomsday is finally here, places are shutting down everywhere, and some people have to wipe their asses with their shirts, what are your plans for 2020? Do you plan to cling on to life for as long as possible, and for how long to you figure that you will survive? Do you have a good amount of food, essentials and ammunition? Do you have a close combat weapon after that? When the food runs out, do you know how to start a proper fire? Do you have protective clothing for outdoor stays once the electricity is shut off? Are you prepared to eat another person? Would you know how to even remove their entrails safely? Share your survival tricks, and orphan taming tricks, here.
You can buy special cutting tools for disemboweling corpses, but you can make do with a crude knife as well: - Spread the ass cheeks apart, and brace them with something like a sharpie. Alternatively, you can just cut them off altogether. - To free the sphincter, cut a wide, shallow circle around the anus opening, fanning outwards - not inwards. - Carefully pull out a few decimeters of the rectum proper, and tie a knot on it so that it doesn't leak during the rest of the procedure. The key is to not rupture this massive sausage. - From the front, put a light incision from the hip upwards toward the sternum. This is only to break the skin, without damaging the innards. If you rupture the colon with this cut, you've essentially contaminated the body. - Using gloves, tear open the skin, and begin removing any fat, exposing an opening large enough to carefully extract the colon. - The colon is of course attached to the stomach sack, which is full of corrosive acid, so need to push down the feces to empty a part of the colon, just below, that you will then either tie up (with sturdy string), or clamp with strong (battery charger) clamps, or (if you're really crafty) tie up with a special knot, on either end, so that you can cut it without too much leakage. If you're experienced, you can remove the other organs of the body, and turn it up side down, but for now I'll assume that you don't don't have the things like hooks or pallets necessary to suspend a body like that. Instead you can wrap the area underneath the cut in a plastic bag, with absorbant paper on top, and another layer with which to cover the clamped colon opening with. It's a tricky procedure, and especially the upper clamp has to secure and liquid acid in place. If you want more professional advice, you can probably find better butchering techniques on the internet, but for now, you'll have access to a body that's got the essential wastes removed.
I'm probably going to lose my entire family to this virus. Some family members I can't reach anymore, so they're probably dead. Other members don't even care if they live or die.
"A year's worth of toilet paper", you say? I'm only counting 120-240 rolls there. They'll be dead in just three months - six if they share their bunker with eachother. ...while you'll be dead in maybe just a week.
>>540 I'm not counting the guy in the back - just the two in the front.
Here they are: The leaders of the new world order, assembled for a group photo opportunity. Remember: March 2020 were happier times, before the wars drew them apart to lead opposing factions. https://twitter.com/soureh_design/status/1238357830052315137
No joke: I just literally came in my pants thinking about the final death throes of humanity. I didn't even notice it until when I was about to wipe myself on the toilet: A thick strand of ejaculate dripping down into the bowl that I only get after cumming. Am I the baddie? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzgM5WtZWYA
Music to Corona to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L7mZH2u3Qc
I guess Italy, and maybe Spain and the UK, will be the canary in all of this. We need to study and learn closely from how things develop over there: - How people survive. - How they win fights. - How they organize. - At what point communications and electricity will be shut down. - What they eat.
I predict that the initial classes with be people with guns, and people without, but over time survival skills may start to matter more. You may want to keep those to yourselves, fellow pedophiles, so that you can exploit their ignorance over time. Even people will guns have to find food and shelter.
A big nice fireaxe will get you to through locked thick wooden doors when looting. (Some rooms, like cellar storage areas, will not have large windows.) Remember to wear protective gear while breaking open a door, for at least your eyes, because splinters is a thing. Diamond saws are able to cut the metal of padlocks. Car batteries will provide electricity for electric equipment (like saws) for a while, but using these should be a last option unless you have the solar panels to charge them somehow. Oh, and buy solar panels, pedophiles. They're going to be like crack to people, so don't even mount them where they're visible, or even outside, or people will come for them and for you.
Nigga telling it like it is: https://twitter.com/19oo97/status/1239882218727788545 This shit is Not Cute.
>>583 If you're strong enough to swing it in a controlled manner (like me), go look for splitting mauls at your local hardware store. Will split both wood and bone when gunshots attract too much attention to your position. Nice for dismembering up your food with too. It's my new best friend. I might even fuck it later. <3
Today was the last time I saw my parents. I wished them good luck. They will isolate themselves a bit, but they're largely dismissing the outbreak as something that will blow over in a few weeks, so they won't stay indoors. They're wrong, and they'll die. They know that I will disconnect the phone if they get sick and start begging for my help, because at that point there's nothing I can do for them. I'm going to miss them, but I guess I won't have time to miss them properly these first two years. I'll stay away from looting their house, since I know it's contaminated.
"Guys, I know we told you that we were well prepared and confident to handle the outbreak, and we sort of got overrun in just ten days, but this time we're serious: We're well prepared and confident that we can handle this. Trust us. This time we're being honest and won't leave you to die. *Cough cough* "
By now the hospitals are where the Covid cases go to die. Regardless of your errand, you come out of there sick. Sometimes your ailment may be worth the risk of dying. However, don't take unnecessary risks. If it's just a consultation, you may be able to do it over a phoneline and self-examination. However, this is if you can even get an appointment. In these times, you will be expected to tend to your own wounds. Buy a first aid kit, and buy a larger first aid box on top of that. Pharmacies will be hotspots for Covid as well, but if you call ahead, they may be able to tell you what you may need additionally, if you have a sudden accident and won't be able to get hospital care. Finally, learn HOW to apply first aid, and close wounds, from reliable internet sites. Open your kits and find out what's in them. Read instructions ahead of time, so that you'll know what to do BEFORE you start bleeding out. Remember: You can't plan to be accident free for a whole two years until the hospitals are working again, especially not in the middle of an economical collapse. People WILL try to mug you. They WILL try to break into your house with you still inside. They will be desperate, and the law will be virtually nonexistant. This goes double if you're a KNOWN pedophile. ...so you NEED to arm yourself at home, with something better than a measly bat, (because bats won't be able to beat anything better than maybe a knife). Train to build up a weapon proficiency in narrow hallways where you can't swing well. Learn where in your apartment that you can make a stand. Learn where to fall back to. Learn about advantageous positions. Learn about striking from top or bottom of stairs. If you don't have a firearm yourself, learn how to obediently and calmly surrender before one without provoking somebody who can kill you on a mere whim.
- Extra prescription medications, asthma relief inhalers. (Some of these may be a problem, so talk to your doctor soon.) - Feminine hygiene products. (One fuck per tampon ration is not unreasonable, so stock up, guys.) - Family pack of toilet paper. - Vitamins (like zinc, C and magnesium, in case food shortages limit the variety in your diet). - Alcohol-containing hand rub and soap. - Household cleaning agents. (Bleach, floor cleaner, toilet cleaner, surface cleaning spray, laundry detergent. Treat every visitor as a potential asymptomatic carrier.) - Tissues, paper towel. - Disposable nappies, baby formula or canned food. - Cereals, grains, beans, lentils, pasta. - Tinned food – fish, vegetables, fruit. - Frozen vegetables, meat. - Cooking oil, spices and flavours. - Dried fruit and nuts. - Ultra-heat treated or powdered milk. Protein powder. - Batteries for anything that needs batteries, powerbanks. - Think about elderly relative’s needs. (Their medications, pets, pandemic stash, plans for care.) - Pet food and care. (Dry and tinned food, litter tray liners, medicines, anti-flea drops.)
>>614 >People WILL try to mug you. They WILL try to break into your house with you still inside. They will be desperate, and the law will be virtually nonexistant. It has begun.
Oh, I think I got a new ringtone. :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAPceUSVLKM&t=204
"Don't test her. She's fine. She's safe to touch, hospital staff. No need to desinfect anything she touches. Return to treat other patients now - people who are all weak from their own ailments, and wouldn't survive getting sick on top of that." Aren't hospitals wonderful? You go there when you're sick, and then you exit well, and alive. ...except now they're houses of death, where all the nurses are mysteriously coughing for some reason. This is the place that you go to get tested, by the way, and likely the place where your testing kits come from. ...so you better be damn sure that you want that test, because one way or another, it's going to be positive at least a week from now. Let's see how long we can survive without hospitals, everyone! Just call for an ambulance, let them treat you en route, and when they arrive at the hospital JUST RUN! Just thank the paramedics and then run away. You got better - might call another ambulance tomorrow.
I am going to die this year. I don't know how many months I have left. Will I even have one? These are the last days of my life. ...and if I somehow live through this, this nightmare will never end. It hasn't even begun. People keep referring to "when this thing blows over", but the life you lived back in January, it's gone, and it's never coming back. SARS-2 is our life now. Civilization will crumble and burn within MONTHS, probably WEEKS! If you're not afraid for your very life right now, you're an idiot. Survive or die.
Want to go to the hair dresser? ...and have her hands rub all over your head as the fifthiest customer of the day? Think again. I just shaved off all my hair within the safety of my own bathroom. My mom already think I'm going nuts, so it's not like she'll change her mind about me. ...and she'll be dead soon anyway.
"Spring break! Woohoo! Party hard!"
>https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/federal-reserve-to-lend-additional-1-trillion-a-day-to-large-banks >Wall Street analysts say the huge number is intended to calm markets by demonstrating that the Fed’s ability to lend short-term is nearly unlimited.
Music to die coughing and gasping to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OosnvFL7et0
>>671 Welcome to the "How will I survive?" thread, nazi-spammer, where we talk about how to survive. Are you saying that this loan will have a direct and personal impact on your survival chances over there in Russia?
>>672 left and leaving - the weakerthans https://youtube.com/watch?v=XrXsz17lFno
Despite being kinda late to the bunkering party, I'm starting to feel pretty set: - 40-50 days of food. Unless I start putting cans on the floor, I'm fully stocked. - 30 bars of unusued soap. - About 100 rolls of toilet paper. - About 30 pairs of "single-use" plastic gloves - 20 more that I can probably wash and re-use. - Lots of more multiple use gloves. - 2 masks, in case I get sick. - Metro survival gear. - One half hazmat suit. One full. It will get hot in the summer-time, but I'll fucking cool it with my ice clamps. - Heavy splitting maul to kill raiders with, and possibly do some raiding with myself if it comes to that. Great for opening locked doors. - Survival mindset. Will eat children. Staying informed on how the situation is developing on a daily basis. - One pretty full bottle of rubbing alcohol. - Two packs of sanitizing wipes. - Home gym. I feel like a millionaire, and I'm not fucking sharing anything with any non-pedophiles - fuck you guys. If any non-pedo nurse comes knocking, I ain't got NOTHING. Once society has collapsed, I'll probably continue living for 2-3 months before I croak. I haven't decided how to suicide yet. How are YOU guys holding up?
>>681 Oh, and I hear that you kiddos - you "zoomers" - are playing Doom Eternal now, because that's what you do when the world is coming to an end: You just plug your ears and start gaming away, pretending you're badass. ...you disgusting, delusional, retarded slobs. It will be a pleasure eating you and using you for my sexual needs. You deserve nothing more. Let's be honest: That's what your "doomguy" would have done to you as well.
It would be good to know which crimes are low profile enough to be excused now. When surviving, you've gotta know which tools are at your disposal. I'm still going to report CP at this site, because I prefer if this site didn't degenerate into a porn site, but in practice I doubt they give a fuck about CP anymore.
How to not die: https://twitter.com/CAFinUS/status/1241470352108158978
I heard my neighbour - a kindergarden teacher - coughing pretty bad in the stairwell just now. Kali is likely to slowly tear out her lungs, and if I go out into the stairwell without protection, she's going to tear out my lungs as well. I was planning on making a run for some supplies, but now I'm having serious second thoughts. Only three weeks - 21 days - left until doomsday has fully arrived, and by then there will be no more supply stores.
It's innards today: Organs, eyes, shit like that, all ground up. It's pretty fat, so I'm spreading most of it on bread, but I don't have much bread. Hopefully it will improve my digestion a bit.
In these times of future megadeath, Megadeth were kind enough to compile a "Quarantine Playlist" of various metal songs: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0qVmQzW0cr8KNRaW4vzN9Y ...and what strikes me as odd, is that none of these songs (at least at first sight) seems to deal with the topic of pandemics or even biological warfare. Plenty of songs have been written about nuclear holocausts (and corrupt politicians and suicide) but seemingly none about biological ones, not even by Megadeth. A bit of a blunder, I think. If I would have picked the closest Megadeth song I know of, to the topic of pandemics and quarantine, I would have picked Train of Consequences: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cel-3ojNUpg
They say that masks "don't help" (and then they want everybody in the US to wear them), but you pedophiles still looking for protective masks, should ensure that they get a mask that is efficient enough: http://emag.medicalexpo.com/which-masks-actually-protect-against-coronavirus/ Today is the first day I went out in full hazmat. My mask is an N95 respirator (FFP2 for Europeans). It's not the absolute best, but it's the standard for corona hazmat teams. Since it's not the worst season yet, and I don't want to wear it out, I didn't seal it air-tight with the nose clip. Children call me "Corona" as they pass me by. They will die soon. They don't seem to avoid me, though, which is unfortunate. ...but that's what the rest of the suit is for. You may not get your hands on a hazmat mask, but even a surgical mask can go a long way if it has a protection against liquids. Breathing in the N95 is of course a bit restricted. You don't want to strain yourself like carrying heavy groceries in this thing, while it's sealed.
Just ten days left until April 14th, when I'm likely to die. It feels like I'm not really spending them to the fullest. I'm about to do my final laundry batch forever. It feels so weird, to know that I'll never be able to do all those things that I took for granted, like even going outside. The outside world is just a memory to me now - at least the way that it used to be, with people walking around. One day the power will just be cut, and then I guess that all that's left to do, is to take my big warhammer and go outside to greet the neighbors, smash in their skulls and take their shit. ...and probably eat pieces off them too, if they look healthy. Hopefully they'll have antibodies in their blood, so I should probably focus on drinking their blood first. Can't stuff them into the freezer because the freezer won't work. Maybe I can live a few more days off pantry foodstuff. I can swing my warhammer pretty good by now. It takes training, but I think I'm ready for my first kill at this point.
For Spoony nothing has really changed. He's still sitting in his home brooding, only now everybody's doing it and it's nothing special. This is funny to me.
I think one of my neighours might have blown his brains out. There was a bright flash and a bang just now. No sounds of an argument and no other activity. Some guys suicide early, I guess.
Jenn made a video blog about what to do during quarantine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIIh0VX_pBg The comments are disabled, maybe by YouTube - who knows these days?
The 72+ hour quarantine has finally ended, so now I'm stocked on tea, icecream, soft toilet paper, supplements and lubricant, among other things. I can masturbate for years now. Feels great.
Only 15 minutes until the new food batch is decontaminated. (It's in the usual 72 hours quarantine. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/04/how-long-does-coronavirus-live-on-different-surfaces ) I've got lots of yummy icecream in there. :)
Judging by the previous post, I'm doing exactly one supply run per month. I'm a bit disappointed in myself.
Not quite as dismal, the robot replacement is finally here for real. Starting in the Dutch city of Maastricht, robots will be serving you food and drinks, having replaced waiters, in order to limit human-to-human contact.
...and no, you can't fuck it.
Here's the "Where do we go from here?" snippet - the only good part of Ashes In Your Mouth. (There's probably better versions out there, but this is the one that *I* made.) With the SARS-2 pandemic, riots, global warming, burning of rain forests, psychopath rights and shit going on, this tune keeps playing over and over in my head.